Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
