she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
