If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
