i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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