with your own penis?
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
