is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
