That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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