those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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