maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
