He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
