they need to just BURY HIM!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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