i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
