omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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