I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
