it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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