Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
