i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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