waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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