YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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