i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
