You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Come on in and take your pants off
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