Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize