he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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