Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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