Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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