He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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