lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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