everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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