So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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