His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
