i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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