He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
