naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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