why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
