Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
