its not stalking. its research.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
