i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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