Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he shaved USA in his pubs
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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