is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
