I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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