Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize