Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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