would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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