dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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