M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Randomize
