these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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