i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
