He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
