I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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