i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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