I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
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