We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
