I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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