apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
