Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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