just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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