Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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