he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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