They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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