They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
