her vagine was all disorganized.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
