My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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